1 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,480 Hi, I'm Brian Henson. 2 00:00:08,780 --> 00:00:11,800 Just when people were beginning to think the Muppets were really, really 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:15,920 wholesome, my father went out and booked one of the most controversial acts of 4 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:17,980 the 1970s, Alice Cooper. 5 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,720 Welcome to my nightmare. 6 00:00:22,820 --> 00:00:26,800 One of Alice's songs was so controversial at the time, it was banned 7 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,000 high schools across the country. 8 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,820 It was called School's Out. 9 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:40,140 And then to balance out all of that craziness that Alice brought to the 10 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:43,680 father had probably one of the sweetest pieces we've ever done on The Muppet 11 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:47,180 Show, which is Robin the Frog singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. 12 00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:54,040 Somewhere over the rainbow. 13 00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:57,600 The episode has a little bit of something in it for everyone. 14 00:00:57,900 --> 00:01:00,440 Here it is, The Muppet Show with Alice Cooper. 15 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:08,850 Alice Cooper, 15 seconds to curtain, Mr. Cooper. 16 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,770 Ready whenever you say, Scooter. 17 00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:16,370 Sir, I think there's something you should know. 18 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:19,290 Yes? These monsters aren't ours. 19 00:01:19,590 --> 00:01:20,590 I know. 20 00:01:20,610 --> 00:01:21,610 They're mine. 21 00:01:25,930 --> 00:01:30,150 It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Alice Cooper. 22 00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:55,480 It's time to put on makeup. 23 00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:57,440 It's time to dress up right. 24 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,660 It's time to get things started. 25 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,900 Why don't you get things started? 26 00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:04,540 Now you've got to admit, the opening is catchy. 27 00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:05,860 So smallpox. 28 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,880 It's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational, 29 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:14,540 celebrational, palpitational, this is Black Week. 30 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:33,540 Hey, tonight our special guest star is one of the world's most talented but 31 00:02:33,540 --> 00:02:35,620 frightening performers, Alice Cooper. 32 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:40,960 So, beware of ghoulies and ghosties and long -legged beasties and things that go 33 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:41,960 bump in the night. 34 00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:46,620 That does it. I'm leaving. 35 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,000 Here's Alice Cooper. 36 00:03:06,829 --> 00:03:13,070 I think you're gonna feel you belong. 37 00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:19,650 Welcome to my nightmare. 38 00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:26,790 Welcome to 39 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:27,990 my breakdown. 40 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,400 I hope I didn't scare you. 41 00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:38,200 That's just the way we are when we come down. 42 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,240 Yeah. 43 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,760 Sweat and laugh and scream here. 44 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:49,040 Because life is just a dream here. 45 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:54,840 You know inside you feel right at home. 46 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:56,960 Yeah. 47 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,280 Welcome to my breakdown. 48 00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:08,680 Welcome to my 49 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:09,680 nightmare. 50 00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:55,920 welcome to my nightmare i think you're gonna like it 51 00:04:55,920 --> 00:05:01,480 i think you're gonna feel you know 52 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:08,060 come to my night 53 00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:10,440 welcome 54 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:16,500 to my nightmare 55 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,180 Where do you suppose he got the name Alice? 56 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:45,720 Oh, it's a family name. He was named after a maiden uncle. 57 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,580 It wasn't spooky like this when Julie Andrews did the show. 58 00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:58,080 Let's see, what's next? William Tell Act. William Tell Act on stage, you 59 00:05:58,220 --> 00:05:59,660 Come on, move it, move it, move it. 60 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,500 Don't shout. It makes me nervous. 61 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:05,560 Okay, way to go, Alice. 62 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,960 Oh, thank you, Kermit. Oh, it must be great to be a rock star. 63 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,760 Oh, would you like to be a rock star? 64 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:19,100 Well, yeah, sure, sure. Love to be a rock star. Well, then just sign this 65 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:20,100 contract. 66 00:06:20,979 --> 00:06:23,720 Uh, yes. I have a friend that runs a service. 67 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,880 He could guarantee to make you a rock star. 68 00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:32,100 Yeah, well, when I said I wanted to be a rock star, I was just sort of half 69 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,880 kidding. I mean, oh, I'd like to be an astronaut, too. 70 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:38,280 Well, then just cross out the word rock star and write an asteroid. 71 00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:41,820 I don't think I want anything to do with you. 72 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,140 Well, looks like you're stuck with it, doesn't it? 73 00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:48,140 Just read it over anyways. 74 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,100 You must be kidding. 75 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,580 Why, how can he guarantee that? And what must it cost? 76 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,780 Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha. 77 00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:00,500 Not a penny, just your soul. 78 00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:08,580 I'm sure I didn't hear that. 79 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:09,880 Or see it. 80 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,760 What's that I heard? 81 00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:16,780 You just can't move when I'm shooting. 82 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:22,900 the other. 83 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,220 Weird. Weird joke. 84 00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:40,160 Dr. Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs where the future is being made today. 85 00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:47,140 Well, our latest development is the germ enlarger. For years, scientists have 86 00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:50,500 had to study teensy -weensy germs under a powerful microscope. 87 00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:54,270 But now, the germ enlarger makes the microscope obsolete. 88 00:07:58,890 --> 00:08:00,490 Comes out of your pay, Beaker. 89 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:07,890 Here in this dish is isolated a sample of the deadly germ Streptococcus 90 00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:13,130 yuckotherium. Now, watch what happens when Beaker adds one drop of germ 91 00:08:13,130 --> 00:08:14,130 enlarger. 92 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,860 how easy it is now for Beaker to study that germ. 93 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:25,800 And vice versa. 94 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,000 That's all for now from Muppet Labs. 95 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:30,680 Once in a while, 96 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:37,600 that germ better not be contagious. 97 00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:44,900 Party of the first part guarantees to give party of the second part fabulous 98 00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,720 riches and worldwide fame. 99 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:49,800 Kermit, what is this contract? 100 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,600 Oh, that just belongs to Alice. 101 00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,860 Oh, you know the Faust story? 102 00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:56,460 No. 103 00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:01,940 Well, you see, Faust sold his soul to the devil and in return became very rich 104 00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:05,100 and very famous. And Alice says that this is that kind of a contract. 105 00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:07,020 Really? 106 00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:18,810 I have other plans for that. 107 00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:20,090 A pin! 108 00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:21,450 I gotta have a pin! 109 00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:23,230 Somebody flies me, Scooter! 110 00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:30,230 Oh, I've never known a toothache this bad before. 111 00:09:30,790 --> 00:09:33,570 He's never known a toothache this bad before. 112 00:09:35,290 --> 00:09:38,310 It's like having toothache all over my body. 113 00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:41,230 It's like having toothache all over his body. 114 00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:46,670 And another thing. And another thing. I keep hearing voices. 115 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,090 And what's worse, 116 00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:53,590 the echo is often incorrect. 117 00:09:54,110 --> 00:10:01,030 And sometimes... And sometimes it says what I'm 118 00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:04,390 going to say before I said it. It says what I'm going to say. 119 00:10:05,550 --> 00:10:10,090 Yeah, well... Yeah, well, none of this is helping my toothache. 120 00:10:11,070 --> 00:10:13,470 You took the words right out of my mouth. 121 00:10:15,230 --> 00:10:18,030 And you couldn't take the teeth as well. 122 00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:21,100 Don't look at us. 123 00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:22,940 Whoa. 124 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,560 I've never known a toothache this bad before. 125 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,260 He's never known a toothache this bad before. 126 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,820 It's like having toothache all over my body. 127 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:39,160 It's like having toothache all over my body. 128 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:40,740 Mr. 129 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:43,980 Cooper. Yes. 130 00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:49,100 Let me come right to the point. 131 00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:55,450 You, sir, are a demented, sick, degenerate, barbaric, 132 00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:59,270 naughty... Freako. 133 00:11:00,890 --> 00:11:02,130 Why, thank you. 134 00:11:05,550 --> 00:11:08,370 Freako's one, civilization zero. 135 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:20,000 Gladys, this show is so weird tonight. I'm going to stay right down here in the 136 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,840 canteen with these clean -cut kids. 137 00:11:24,380 --> 00:11:28,260 Why can't we have one thing nice on this show tonight? 138 00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:01,470 Oh boy, this is a spooky show. 139 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,600 This is my once a year day. 140 00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:41,720 Once a year day. Felt the morning sun and knew that this was my once a year 141 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,540 Once a year day. 142 00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:47,400 Even got a kiss from you. I feel like hopping up and down. 143 00:14:49,610 --> 00:14:55,450 Fences climbing trees, what pleases me is what I do, cause this is my once a 144 00:14:55,450 --> 00:14:57,990 year day, once a year day. 145 00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:03,790 Everyone's entitled to be wild, be a child, be a goof, break a roof, once a 146 00:15:03,790 --> 00:15:04,790 day. 147 00:15:29,210 --> 00:15:36,030 This was my once -a -year day, once -a -year day, felt the morning sun and knew 148 00:15:36,030 --> 00:15:41,410 that this was my once -a -year day, once -a -year day. 149 00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:46,490 Everyone's entitled to be wild, be a child, be a moon, break a roof. 150 00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:05,260 And with the power vested in me, I have touched you and made you beautiful. 151 00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:07,740 Let no man call you ugly. 152 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,600 With me at your side, we will lead a life of eternal happiness. 153 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:20,340 When I get home from work, I want to wrap myself around you. 154 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:27,300 I want to take you, squeeze you till the passion starts to rise. 155 00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:33,010 I'd like to take you to heaven. 156 00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:36,570 That would make my day complete. 157 00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:41,150 But you and me ain't no movie stars. 158 00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:44,830 What we are is what we are. 159 00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:49,930 We share a bed, some loving, and TV. 160 00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:56,150 That's enough for a working man. 161 00:16:57,430 --> 00:16:59,870 What I am is what I am. 162 00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:05,000 I'll tell you, baby, you're just enough for me. 163 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:11,900 Sometimes when you're asleep and I'm just staring at the ceiling, 164 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:18,660 I want to reach out and touch you, but you just go on 165 00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:19,660 dreaming. 166 00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:24,720 I'd like to take you to heaven. 167 00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:28,260 That would make my day complete. 168 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,600 But you and me ain't no superstars. 169 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,520 What we are is what we are. 170 00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:41,600 We share a bed, some popcorn and TV. 171 00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:47,860 And that's enough for a working man. 172 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,600 What I am is what I am. 173 00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:56,740 I'll tell you, baby, you're just enough for me. 174 00:17:59,530 --> 00:18:03,530 I'll tell you, baby, you're just enough for me. 175 00:18:14,390 --> 00:18:17,010 Excuse me. Hey, who turned off the lights? 176 00:18:18,710 --> 00:18:21,510 Miss Piggy wanted on stage for Pigs in Space. 177 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,170 I'll be right there. 178 00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:28,910 Pardon moi, Alessimo. 179 00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:39,320 Listen, Cooper, the deal is off. 180 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,660 Make with the magic. 181 00:18:42,780 --> 00:18:43,960 Oh, all right. 182 00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:45,180 All right. 183 00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:49,220 All right. All right. 184 00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:54,200 That's better. And you can tell your man I wouldn't sell you my soul if you paid 185 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,200 me. 186 00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:56,860 Creep. 187 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,060 Yeah. Well, boss? 188 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,740 No, no, I didn't make a sale. 189 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,060 Listen, do I get any commission on hourly rentals? 190 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,120 Touchy. 191 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:20,840 And now, Pigs in Space! 192 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:28,020 When we last saw the spaceship Swine Trek, Captain Link Hogthrob was 193 00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:30,240 from a mysterious space disease. 194 00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:32,960 First make the... 195 00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,380 Help me move Link back to the electrocosmotron. 196 00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:37,620 Yes, yes. 197 00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:43,040 It's like King Kong. 198 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,960 Easy. Good, good. 199 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:51,760 Oh, doctor, does he stand a chance? 200 00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:56,340 Well, I hesitate to try this shock treatment. It's very dangerous and it 201 00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:57,339 kill him. 202 00:19:57,340 --> 00:19:58,980 Oh, is there no alternative? 203 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,580 Well, you could give him mouth -to -mouth resuscitation. 204 00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:06,420 You connect the wires. I'll throw the switch. 205 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,960 Ready? So, just now. All connected. 206 00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:15,600 Three, two, one. 207 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,600 Look, 208 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,980 Dr. Strangeport. He's coming around. 209 00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:27,380 Yes, it worked. 210 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,820 Turn it off now, First Mate Piggy. 211 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,420 Yes. Dr. 212 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:38,150 Strangeport, what happened? Oh, just temporary, Link. I said turn it off. 213 00:20:38,810 --> 00:20:40,590 I did! 214 00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:43,450 Uh -oh. 215 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:45,310 Sorry, Link. 216 00:20:46,350 --> 00:20:50,090 But look at me. I'm just a show of my former self. 217 00:20:50,570 --> 00:20:54,450 But, uh, you're much more interesting. 218 00:20:55,430 --> 00:20:57,410 No, I think he looks weird. 219 00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:03,050 Of course he looks weird. I'm just trying to make him feel better. Dumb old 220 00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,430 Do you really think I look more interesting? 221 00:21:07,390 --> 00:21:08,390 Yes, dear. 222 00:21:09,290 --> 00:21:12,550 Well, in that case, how about a little kissy kissy? 223 00:21:12,950 --> 00:21:13,950 What? Hmm? 224 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:05,459 out of sight. 225 00:22:05,460 --> 00:22:06,460 I had my eyes. 226 00:24:56,010 --> 00:25:00,150 But before we all go home and hide under the bed, let us bring out our very 227 00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:01,490 special guest, our Alice Cooper. 228 00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:11,190 It's been a real pleasure. 229 00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:16,950 This is the voice of doom! 230 00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:20,270 Sounds more like the voice of Gonzo. 231 00:25:26,830 --> 00:25:29,810 Kermit, it's worse than that. This is the bill from special effects. 232 00:26:14,220 --> 00:26:15,840 So that was Alice Cooper. 233 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,840 You should see his sister, James Fenimore.